this is a new beginning for me, and i just wanted somewhere to go and share my thoughts. i have another blog in cyberspace, but it's my business blog and i don't really want the two meeting up for the time being. i try to keep my business blogging all about business, so there are always things in my head that i'd like to write down but i stop myself before i bore my clients to death with my ramblings, plus, i don't usually want all of my clients knowing all the insanity and chaos that goes on inside this head of mine. sometimes it's a good thing to keep my problems a secret from people who pay my salary!
these last few months have sucked. not only just sucked in general, but they have sucked the life out of me. i don't feel i have anything left to give anyone, and that's a sad thing to say. i am at rock bottom and trying to figure out how to rise to the top again.
one of my issues right now is that i'm fat. yep, pretty sure i'm morbidly obese, but the BMI calculator just says i'm obese, which still sucks. i have been overweight pretty much my entire life, and i can't take it anymore.
i seem to have a BMI of 36 right now.
sure, i have lost weight before and i was even skinny about 12 yrs ago, but times have changed and i'm 43 and my health just feels like it's getting worse. i don't have any huge issues like diabetes or anything, but i do have slightly high blood pressure and i just don't feel great. i think that's a good reason to get in shape.
i figured this would be a great way to keep track of my weight loss, so i'm going to blog about it! YAY ME!
here are my current stats.
height~ 5'4
current weight ~ 210 lbs
starting weight ~ 225lbs (also my highest weight EVER)
BMI~ 36
goal weight ~ 135 lbs (or there about)
diet that i'm following ~ Dr.Poon's Metbolic Diet (which i guess is just a fancy way to say low-carb). it's not as heavy on fats like Atkin's is, so i can't eat bacon and cheese and such. just lots of chicken, salad and egg whites!
exercise~ started at the gym 2 days ago, and have done 30 minutes on the elliptical each time.
i have approximately 70 lbs to lose (give or take 5 lbs), with a goal of reaching that number by sometime in November 2012. i would also like to start running again, and hope to be able to run another 1/2 marathon this fall. fingers crossed!
right now i just want to get my head on straight again, start being able to dream, and accept that sometimes dreams don't come true.
i had such high hopes for my business, and now it seems like God has a different direction for me but i don't know what that is yet. watching my business die right in front of me has taken its toll on my health and mental state, but i'm going to do my best to get out of this hole and dream again.
who knows what the future holds!
hopefully i will get in here daily with an update.
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