have you ever wondered what you're going to be when you grow up? well, i'm 43 and i'm still wondering. it's tough on the heart.
i believe that God has a plan for my life, and sure, sometimes is tougher than other times to trust that He will provide everything that i need. i am a stubborn mule and i have always been extremely self-sufficient , but now i cannot seem to move forward for the life of me!
i started my own business a few years ago, with dreams of grandeur and plans for the future. i believed that I was doing well, was told that i am fabulous at what i do, yet have been struggling this year to book any clients for the end of 2012 and i've got nothing for 2013.
i thought i had it all figured out, and them WHAM, the rug gets ripped from under me and i feel lost and alone.
i'm 43 for goodness sake, and i don't have all the time (or money) in the world to be starting over and trying new things. i gave up my dreams many years ago when i became a full-time mom and took care of my kids for 18 years. when they started leaving the nest, i realized that i needed something that was mine and i needed to start earning some income so that we could put these guys through university.
my heart is broken and i don't know what to do.
a couple of weeks ago i kind of hit rock bottom, and i sat and sobbed to my hubby. that was then end of the end for me.
my health hasn't been great, i'm quite overweight and out of shape, and i have been miserable for 2 years now. my business has nearly killed me, yet i am mourning its loss at the same time. i hate being a failure.
now, i'm going to try my best to trust that better things are on the horizon, that i gain regain some sense of control over my life (while relinquishing control at the same time) and i'm going to get my head screwed on straight as i get healthy again.
if anyone ever reads this and you're the praying type, please say a little prayer for yours truly. i can use all the help i can get right now.
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